Posts tagged with salary surfer

Salary Surfer says “manage my activities!”

November 23, 2011 by   •  Leave a comment

Dear Josh,Salary Surfer feeling bored and ignored

Work has been great!  I haven’t produced anything lately but I still have a high salary so I can maintain my current lifestyle.  I would like to touch on 5 mistakes that managers make on a daily basis:

Not checking in with me during the day.  I have the freedom to do whatever I want.  Am I working?  Sometimes.  In between lunch and visiting with friends, it’s hard to put in an 8 hour day.

  1. Making me work from home.  You pay for an office.  You may think you are saving money by not paying for my mileage to go to the office, but think about how much it is costing you in my lack of production.
  2. Making me do the old song and dance of “Lunch & Learns.”  This is so played out.  1-2 people including myself get to enjoy a fabulous lunch at $1,800.00.  The people that come have no intention of buying.  This also takes up over half of my day.  How many of you could take 4 hours off to attend a luncheon?
  3. I need my manager to make me use my CRM.  I am lost without it, and am all over the place with following up and setting appointments.  If you don’t keep track of it, why would I.
  4. You have a scheduled sales call every Friday, but usually it’s canceled or there is no agenda for the meeting.  I have no idea what to expect therefore why do anything.  I know I can BS you over the phone and you will fall for whatever I am saying.  Again, you don’t ever check up on anything so I know you will not question me about it.


I hope this will help managers out there manage their sale people better.  We need you to care about what we are doing.  We love structure and someone that holds us accountable!  It makes us feel like we are accomplishing something and in the end will help both of us succeed.

Salary Surfer out!

Tags: , , ,

Salary Surfer is back and gonna drop some knowledge on you sales managers

November 21, 2011 by   •  Leave a comment



Guess who’s back…you got it!  It’s been a minute and between cruising to theBahamas, hanging with friends, and getting ready for the holidays, I have been very busy.  I have also been traveling a lot for work.  This has allowed me to gather all types of information for thus blog.


The top 5 ways your sales people can tell that you don’t give a S#@! about them:


  1. You get your “juvenile marketing coordinator” to book a room for your traveling sales team.  Stick with a chain you dumb dumbs!  Traveling is bad enough, but at least I want to be cozy on my down time.  No time for resting at the Red Roof Inn…what with the murder scene like room, the prostitution raid, and the bed bugs.  This is a number 1 give a way that you care nothing about my well being.  Oh yeah, and it is also a dead give a way when “management” stays at the Hilton down the street…shhhhhhhhh.


  1. Not only do you put me in the Red Roof Inn, but just as I am putting on my snow suit to sleep in to prevent the bed bugs from attacking my manicured skin, guess who walks in…another employee.


Betty Lou: “Are you Salary Surfer?”

SS: “Yes, who are you?”

Betty Lou:  “Betty Lou fromDallasTexasdivision, I guess we are roomies, I’m so excited to start with the company.  Tell me all about it!”


Poor Betty Lou, and poor me!  So now in my downtime, I have to share a room with a woman I’ve never met.  Betty Lou was sweet and nice but I don’t want to hear Betty Lou’s fight’s with her boyfriend in the middle of the night, her latest snoring techniques, and I definitely don’t want to have to tell Betty Lou that it’s ok to light a match after you go to the bathroom!!!  Way to go boss!  You once again just proved how you don’t give a S!@# about me!!!


  1. You suggest that I drive to the sales training because it’s cheaper.  6.5 hours later you are calling me and yelling because I am late.  Some friendly advice to all of the owners/managers/higher up’s out there:  MY TIME IS JUST AS VALUABLE AS YOURS.  YOU PAID ME MORE IN MILEAGE THAN MY AIRLINE TICKET WAS, MY TIME WAS WASTED FROM PRODUCING, AND I HELD UP YOU AND EVERY OTHER SALES PERSON’S TIME BECAUSE I WAS LATE.  What college are you always bragging about that you went to again?
  2. Of course I want to see your office and bond with the Betty’s Lou’s of the company, but spring for a cleaning service.  “Everyone here has the flu.”  As I look down to see the food stains on the board room table that my arms are resting on and the trash piled up in the corner, I can only imagine how long it will take for me and the rest of your sales team to catch it.  Get me out of this petri dish or get a cleaning service!
  3. And finally…I know you don’t give a S#@! about me when we sit in a room for 6 hours with no food, and you are boasting about where you are “treating” us for dinner.  Doctors say you should eat 3 meals a day.  I would settle for 2 you uncompassionate egotistical sweetheart and FYI, the Red Roof Inn doesn’t provide a continental breakfast like the Hilton does!!!



Well that’s all for today, Josh.  Hope you can help these people out.  It’s getting bad out there!



The Salary SurferSalary Surfer stocking up

Tags: , , ,